


Dirty Laundry

by ratchet_intellectual



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Fun misunderstandings, M/M, Mercy doesn't like Hanzo, inspired by a Tumblr comic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-11
Updated: 2017-09-11
Packaged: 2018-12-26 11:01:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12057603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratchet_intellectual/pseuds/ratchet_intellectual
Summary: Angela goes off on Hanzo after he accidentally gives McCree a bloody nose while doing laundry. Or at least she tries to.





	Dirty Laundry

For Angela, allowing Hanzo to join the Recall was a decision she could barely stomach. She had worked so intimately with Genji post-Hanamura all those years ago and could not think of ever working with someone like that, someone who could maim their own brother in cold blood. For a long time she thought she would never have to. From the last time they spoke, Genji still hated his brother and vowed to seek revenge for what happened that fateful night. 

But, like most things in her life, she found herself surprised at how small events could drastically change her presence. She never thought Genji’s trip around the world and eventual exploration of Nepal would lead the cyborg to finding peace, forgiving his brother, and extending the invitation to join Overwatch. She never thought Hanzo Shimada would accept such an offer. 

But here she was, wrong and angry. He had join them almost a year ago. She couldn't deny that his skills were unparalleled and their rag tag team desperately needed a sniper but the doctor could never trust him 100%. She could never fully forgive him like Genji or the others. Not when she had been elbow deep in Genji’s chest cavity, pulling his very soul from the grasps of death. 

She was also surprised to see how fast McCree had allowed the archer into his heart. Seeing the two walk to the training room together or sit close after a mission was puzzling. The cowboy was closer to Genji than even she was. They bonded during their shared days in Blackwatch and even when Genji moved from the shadows and into the light of Overwatch’s blue flags, the two had kept a connection few understood. Angela had thought that McCree of all people would hold a grudge against the archer but was left feeling alone in his distrust as she watched the cowboy make fast friends with the older Shimada. 

Still Angela kept her mouth shut, as she usually did on personal matters, in favor of keeping a cool peace. She let it be known with a steely professionalism that Hanzo would not be welcomed by her and the archer, having miraculous maintained some shembles of dignity after trying to kill his own flesh and blood, understood. He did not graciously asked for forgiveness from the doctor but instead respected her feelings and the space she put between them. 

But this? This was a step over the line. She was seeing red, figuratively and literally. It was only a tiny trickle, a pea compared to the battlefield injuries she dealt with on a day to day basis, but that tiny sliver was enough to break the proverbial camel’s back. 

“Now Angie I know yer mad but-”

“No! I will not have him on this team if he will continue to hurt us, his allies!” She seethed as she passed the cowboy a sheet of tissue to plug his nose. “What if you had been Mei? Or Hana? Hmm? Or even worse Genji. He cannot slash out violently against those who have only shown him underserved kindness.”

McCree shook his head as he inserted the tightly bundled tissue up his nose. 

“Ang, it ain't nothing like that. It's my fault. I provoked him.”

Angela’s grip tightened on the roll of paper towels. Her blunted nails teared the fabric. 

“You provoked him? So that makes it okay?”

“It was an accident!” Jesse pleaded, trying to calm her down. 

“No excuse. I am going to talk to him. Now. ATHENA is Agent Shimada H. on his way?” 

“Yes Dr. Ziegler. Agent Shimada H. will be arriving in the Med-Bay shortly.”

“Ang, I'm tellin ya, it was an accident. Ain't no reason to cause all the hubbub-”

The gunslinger was interrupted by not only Hanzo but Genji as well. 

Good, Angela thought, the cyborg would need to hear that his brother was as trustworthy as he would like. 

“Is everything okay?” The bit of worry in the archer’s eyes as he looked at McCree almost softened Angela’s resolve. Almost. 

“What, big bad cowboy of the Wild West has a boo boo?” Genji teased. His facial visor was off and his eyes were so light. So different from the eyes she caught glimpses of years ago. 

“Genji. Hanzo. I'm glad you both are here.” The doctor kept her tone hard and even. “Agent McCree came into my office asking for medical assistance-”

“I came lookin for a band aid!” McCree interjected, head still tilted up. Angela was too angry to think about the hint of panic in his voice. 

“After he came from the laundry room. Do you know how he sustained such injuries Hanzo?” She turned a sharp look onto him but the archer didn't waiver. 

“While he was doing laundry I presume?” Hanzo said smirking. He was looking past Angela to the cowboy sitting on her examination table. “I know the many buttons might be hard for simple country folk such as him but I'm sure ATHENA would be more than happy to-”

“No he got it after you assaulted him with a clothes basket for saying something you didn't agree with!” Angela all but yelled. He was joking at a time like this? Maybe she should have called Winston down as well to fire him on the spot. 

Genji, however, thought her accusation was hilarious and started laughing hysterically. Hanzo had the audacity to look stupid. 

“I did not mean to harm him. We were merely joking around.” The archer said. He raised an eyebrow at the cowboy after pausing for a moment. “Did you tell her what you said?”

“Let me guess, he insulted your ponytail!” Genji crackled. “Or did he say you dishonored yourself by not using fabric softener?” 

“This is serious Mr. Shimada. You simply cannot go around hurting other agents because they have upset you. This kind of velitole behavior will not be tolerated.” 

Angela in her office heels was around the same height as Hanzo so she tried to make herself as imposing as possible. Hanzo looked unphased and instead continued to look at the cowboy. 

“He didn't tell you then. See, I asked him if he had another load-”

“Han I tried to tell her it was a harmless joke!” McCree said, sliding off the table to get to Hanzo. He was nervous, almost embarrassed. 

Was it worse than what she had assumed? Angela was now horrified at the many possibilities. 

“Of laundry. And he said he had two-”

“Aw cmon, don't do this! It was a joke-”

“One for my face and one for my as-”

“Hanzo!” McCree had lounged to put his hand over the archer’s mouth. 

The room was quiet and for a rare moment, Angela’s mind was completely blank. She used that free moment to reflect on the absurdity of it all. She was back at Watchpoint: Gibraltar illegal working with a DJ freedom fighter, a famous video gamer, a cryogenically frozen meteorologist, two people that were still legally dead, a cyber ninja and the brother who killed him and a cowboy that was in her office because he accidentally got hurt after telling a dirty joke. 

The realization that this was her life now was ridiculous. It was….

Hilarious. 

So she laughed and laughed because, by god, Jesse had told the only dirty laundry pun in existence and she was ready to curse a man out, get a man fired, because of it. 

“That's not funny Angela! That's disgusting.” Genji cried, all the fun of the situation gone for him as he thought of one of his oldest friends making a pass at his brother. “God McCree, that was disgusting and terrible.”

The cowboy in question laughed sheepishly as he slowly removed his hand from Hanzo’s mouth. 

“Y'all know me: quick with a gun, quicker with a joke.” He was looking at Hanzo. 

“A joke? What a shame.” The archer said as he turned to leave. 

“Anika please!” Genji whined in Japanese.

“Woh now, I ain't mean it like that. It was more of a joking offer if you-” McCree followed Hanzo out as he explained that the joking offer was still something he would very much like to explore, behind closed doors mono e mono. Genji followed screaming about how the conversation was “literally the most disgusting thing to take place in the history of spoken language”. 

Angela was left with an empty office, a bloody tissue, and the sinking feeling that Hanzo would be around to stay for longer than she ever thought.

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a lovely comic found here:
> 
> https://kananeski.tumblr.com/post/165209054927 
> 
> Can y'all tell I don't like Mercy from this?


End file.
